Saturday, May 14, 2011

A Battle

I'm struggling at the moment. Struggling to cope...struggling to find peace...struggling in general. It's been one of those weeks where I have just felt "off", "outside of myself", "not there", have you ever had one of those?

To top it all off the media is publicizing the "end of the world 5/21/2011"...and although I know that no one knows the time, day or hour (matthew 24:36) it unnerves me just a bit. I start telling myself I should be stronger in the faith, I should NOT DOUBT, I should be confident that GOD is in control of the situation. I am praying for peace, but not finding it...the Lord is teaching much through all this though. I am finding my prayer life to be more focused (a positive in the midst of this darkness). I know that the enemy would want me to wallow and stress about this for the next week, but I do have a choice. I can either let it "eat away" at me or I can choose to trust in God and rest in HIM who knows all things.

I have picked up my Bible three times in the last 24 hours searching for comfort. Ashamedly that's is much more frequent than usual...perhaps that will be the most positive thing to come from this "trial"....more time with the author and perfector of our faith. I am fearful, confused and tired. I am sure this is just a spiritual battle that will bring about a necessary change in my life and will glorify God when it's done so why am I struggling? I am restless and weary. All I can do is pray....and if I may, I ask that those of you that know me would also pray. Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Laura - this is a beautiful post in so many ways. Your honesty, transparency, and most of all the truth that you are clinging to proclaimed with confidence regardless of how you feel. One of the Getty songs comes to mind as I read:

    "Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer"
    Music by Keith Getty; Words by Margaret Becker
    Copyright © 2002 Thankyou Music

    Jesus draw me ever nearer
    As I labour through the storm.
    You have called me to this passage,
    and I'll follow, though I'm worn.

    May this journey bring a blessing,
    May I rise on wings of faith;
    And at the end of my heart's testing,
    With Your likeness let me wake.

    Jesus guide me through the tempest;
    Keep my spirit staid and sure.
    When the midnight meets the morning,
    Let me love You even more.

    Let the treasures of the trial
    Form within me as I go -
    And at the end of this long passage,
    Let me leave them at Your throne.

    Praying for you over the next few days!